What Are We Doing?
by ncis-tivotee
Summary: Tony and Ziva are forced to address the changing dynamics of their relationship on Valentine's Day. Set in Season X between Canary and Hereafter. Please R/R.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** This is my first ever attempt at writing a fanfiction. To start off, I didn't want to commit to writing a long multi-chapter story. This will most probably last for one more chapter. I'd love to hear back from the readers. Nothing quite motivates a writer like feedback whether positive or otherwise. Thanks for your time.

**What Are We Doing?**

Chapter 1

"It's been just another day," thought Tony as he finished reviewing his case report and wrote down the date on its cover, "02-14-2013". The case itself had been straight-forward and was tied up neatly but it had proved to be frustrating as it kept them pursuing MC after the big lead they got the previous week. He signed off on it and closed the file with flourish making sure it caught the attention of the bullpen's other two occupants.

"Finished already?" exclaimed McGee watching Tony strut across to Gibbs' desk, drop the file and turn around looking quite pleased with himself.

"Oh yes! Feeling a little jealous here are we?" asked Tony, as he flashed his trademark grin while walking back to his desk to collect his things.

"I'm just worried that I'm going to be late for my date tonight. I am supposed to..."

"Whoa, whoa! Back the truck up, McPouty-Face. You have a date? Tonight? How are we only just hearing about this?!"

"Gee, I don't know Tony. Maybe because I didn't want you badgering me for more information while we were working a case!" snapped McGee and returned to typing away on his computer.

Tony, no longer interested in packing up, crossed his arms, leant on his desk and continued with his prying. "Okay, then. As you may have noticed, we are no longer in the middle of a case. Spill it!"

"Technically, we still are. Atleast, Ziva and I still are," sighed McGee causing Tony to roll his eyes.

"Come on McGee, don't be a spoilsport."

This caught McGee's attention as he swivelled in his chair to face him, defeated, knowing full well that it would be best to get this over with if he wanted to go through the rest of the evening uninterrupted. "Alright then, what do you want to know?"

"Everything."

"Well, Abby and I decided to go on a double date tonight. It was all decided a while back..."

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tony noticed that Ziva had also taken a break from whatever she was doing to listen in. Despite the numerous times she had lectured him about respecting other people's personal lives, he knew that she herself couldn't resist a juicy office gossip like this one. It made him smile a little.

"Wow! So McAbby is back on track then, huh?"

"What? Oh, no.. No. When I said we were going on a double date, I didn't mean that we were going as a couple. Gabi is back in town. So, I actually took your advice and asked her out," said McGee, trying not to look too ecstatic about this development and failing miserably. "Abby is bringing someone who she met at the same animal shelter that her brother, Kyle, works at. They seem to have really hit it off; already been on a couple of dates, in fact. I'm supposed to meet her at the entrance in exactly..." He checked his watch and a panicked look came over his face, "...twenty minutes and that means I've really got to get a move on here. So, if you don't mind."

Tony put his hands up in peace and said, "Fine. Clearly, this means a lot to you so you won't hear another word from me."

McGee, seemingly stunned by and yet wary about Tony's reply, could only say, "Thanks." He pulled up his chair closer to his desk and focussed his attention back onto his monitor.

Tony, for his part, stayed true to his word. He grabbed a magazine lying in his drawer and settled down to read it. His hands flicked through its glossy pages but his eyes were now surreptitiously stealing glances at his partner, sitting across from him, as they seemed to do way too often nowadays. She had worn her hair down, in curls, which were now highlighted by the rays of the evening sun filtering in through the large window overlooking the Navy Yard. The expression on her face mirrored that of McGee's, screwed up in concentration while her fingers glided smoothly over her keyboard as she attempted to complete her own report.

On a couple of occasions, she locked eyes with him and, as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her to look across the room only to find him gazing at her, smiled at him; a smile that she reserved just for him. A smile that made him feel... just so happy, because it was innocent, natural and genuine. He knew there hadn't been too many of those in her life over the past few weeks.

"Done."

Ziva's voice pulled him away from the disturbing memories and brought him back to the present. This was what he had been waiting for all day.

"Great! Let's get out of here and let McGee have some peace and quiet, spend some quality time with his immortal beloved and grab a cuppa coffee? "

"Yes, of course. And by that, you do mean his computer, yes?"

"Of course," said Tony, winking at her. He let her lead the way towards the break room.

"Did you see that? He was so oblivious to everything happening around him, including my jibe!" complained Tony.

"Well, if you were in his position, you would not have wanted to keep your date waiting either, would you?" Ziva reasoned, as she went about making his coffee adding just the right amount of milk and sugar. This was one of the several small things that they had learnt about each other after all the hours spent together. He tasted his brew and, sure enough, it made him sigh in contentment. Once Ziva had her cup filled, they both proceeded to sit across from each other at their usual small, circular table in a corner of the empty break room.

A few minutes passed by in comfortable silence as they sipped on their caffeinated beverage. Soon, Tony emptied his cup and slowly laid it down in front of him, twirling it nervously as he pondered on how best to go about doing what he had planned. Suddenly, he stopped his motions, leaned back on his chair and asked her outright, "Listen, if you don't have anything planned for tonight you are welcome to join me and catch a movie at my place. I'll let you pick."

There, that seemed casual enough. They had done this a fair few times in the past and it shouldn't make it any different today. And yet, even as he told himself this, he couldn't help the fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach though he did his best to ignore it.

Ziva paused, half-way between a sip, looked at him with unmistakable surprise, which Tony was quick to catch, although it lasted only for a fraction of a second before she composed her expression to one of mild interest. She completed her sip, which seemed to last for eons to Tony, put her cup down on the table with a clink, looked him in the eye and said, "Yes, Tony. Why not?"

He gave himself a little high-five in his head and said nonchalantly, "See you at my place then at around, say, 8?"

"Sounds good," replied Ziva, getting up and making her way back to the squad room. On reaching the door, she turned around with the air of someone having just remembered something and said, "On one condition." Tony got up with a start and turned around with a perplexed look on his face making Ziva laugh. "I was just going to ask _you _to pick the movie, Tony. You know which are the ones worth watching and your choices are always interesting, in a good way." Realizing that she may have said too much to feed his self-esteem, she quickly added, "As far as movies are concerned."

Her words eased him up and for a second, he was transported back to the conversation which, in some ways, had opened his eyes to her.

_You know, one of these days, I'd like to actually meet someone who appreciates movies the way I do. Or at least appreciates the way I appreciate them. _

_She does, Tony._

"Can't argue with you there," piped up Tony. Buoyed by the sudden spring in his step, he walked side-by-side his partner who was shaking her head, seemingly annoyed by his cockiness which would have been quite convincing if not for the big smile she wore.

They entered the bullpen just in time to catch McGee swinging his backpack over his shoulder and checking out his hair on his monitor which was now switched off. "Look at our Probie, all grown up! Good luck for your date, McRomeo, sweep her off her feet."

"You look very handsome today, McGee. I am sure Gavriella will be impressed," added Ziva, encouragingly.

"Thanks guys! I appreciate it, really. I'll get going then. See you both tomorrow," said McGee and left in a hurry.

"He sure seems happy," remarked Tony, almost to himself.

"Ah, give it a couple of months." Gibbs' voice preceded him into the bullpen as he took up his seat behind his desk. "I see that you two are done with your reports," observed Gibbs.

Tony and Ziva replied in the affirmative, in unison.

"Then what on earth are you still doing here?" enquired Gibbs. He looked up to see them exchange confused looks and said, "Rule No. 11."

"When the job is done, walk away," Tony reeled off. "Walking away, Boss." Tony and Ziva collected their belongings and exited the squadroom through the elevator doors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**Thank you all for a warm welcome into the fanfiction world. You guys really made a newbie happy with your reviews and words of encouragement. It is much appreciated.

**What Are We Doing?**

Chapter 2

Tony reached for his watch on his bedside table, a quarter to eight it read. He moved to stand in front of his full-length mirror and check out his reflection. He had put on a black, button-down shirt and a pair of faded blue jeans. He was keen on keeping things simple as he had not given any indication that this was anything more than a friendly get-together.

He settled down on the couch in living room, switched on the television and browsed through the channels to give himself something to do and keep his mind occupied. He had no idea how the rest of the evening would go. The one thing he did know was that it just _had_ to go well. The clock on the mantelpiece struck eight as he heard a knock.

"How typical?" thought Tony, turning off the TV and making his way towards the door. He reached for the handle, ready to ask her if being punctual to a fault that it was almost slightly creepy was a part of her Mossad training. Those words were lost somewhere between his mind and his lips as he opened the door to reveal Ziva.

She had worn a mustard yellow top, a colour that always looked good on her, which was sleeveless and showed off her tan. Her hair was tied back in a pony tail although her curls were intact. She had put on some light make up and the overall effect made her look positively radiant. And like he had done over tne past couple of months, he wanted to compliment her but this time, the words just refused to flow.

"Cat caught your tongue, Tony?" asked Ziva.

That snapped Tony out of it. "Ziva David, did you just get an idiom right?"

"I did?" exclaimed Ziva, sounding genuinely surprised. "Well, good for me, I guess," she remarked with a soft smile.

They stood like that for a while; eyes fixed on the other before Ziva raised her eyebrows and asked, "Are you going to invite me inside or..."

"Oh, ya, of course. Come on in, Ziva." He took her coat as she entered his apartment and placed it on the hanger by the door.

She took a few steps inside and stopped in her tracks. "Something smells good in here," she observed. She turned around with a start to face Tony who was right behind her. "Tony, did you cook?" she enquired of him, clearly surprised.

"Um, yeah. I didn't much fancy the alternative of having dinner outside, in a restaurant, probably filled with gooey-eyed romantics," he replied, not quite meeting her eyes. "Is that a problem?" he asked, looking up.

"No," she was quick to reply. "It is just that I did not expect you to. Not that I do not appreciate it," she added, smiling up at him which Tony was more than happy to return.

He moved to stand closer to her, pointed to the kitchen, bowed a little and asked, "Care to join me."

"I would love to," she replied.

A few minutes later, they both had a plate full of steaming pasta in their hands and were comfortably seated on the couch in the living room chatting away.

"Mmmm, this is so delicious!" praised Ziva, having taken her first bite.

"Thank you," came Tony's response, delighted to have someone lauding his culinary skills.

Ziva ran her hands appreciatively over the couch cushion and commented, "This really is a very comfortable couch."

"Try telling that to Shmeil. He was the one who had to spend the night on it when he stayed over. I'm sure that wasn't a picnic!" replied Tony, taking in a mouthful of the pasta. "How is he, by the way?"

"He is fine, Tony. He left for New York three days back. We stay in touch." She took a gulp of water and stared straight ahead. "He has been very supportive through everything that has happened; I owe him a lot."

She sighed heavily and went back to her food as Tony looked on. It was obvious how much pain the memory of her father's death still caused her. Seeing her like this bothered him, a lot. As much as he wanted to help ease her pain, he knew there really was nothing he could do. Her father was gone. Nothing, not even revenge against was going to change that. This knowledge didn't help, though. The frustration that comes with not being able to do something to set the situation straight was the worst.

She soon relaxed, however, as the memory of something seemed to amuse her. "You seem to have made quite an impression on him," she said, facing him. This perked Tony up as she went on, "He had so many nice things to say about you that I was starting to think that you had bribed him to do so," she stated, giving him a pointed look.

Tony put on a mock-scandalized expression and shouted, "This is an outrage! How dare you accuse me of something so..."

"Yeah, it cannot be so," Ziva cut him off from going into his dramatic-monologue mode. Tony pretended to cool down, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "I mean, Shmeil is too honourable a man for you to pull off something along those lines," she added, with a cheeky grin at him and they shared a good laugh.

Once the laughter died down, Ziva continued, "Anyway, he asked me to thank you on his behalf for your hospitality."

Tony, busy finishing up the last of his pasta, shrugged and replied, "Least I could do."

Ziva gave him a strange look that Tony did not catch. When he looked back at her, she turned to place her empty plate on the table beside the couch and began to rummage through her bag.

Tony grabbed her plate off the table and dumped both together into the kitchen sink. He came back, took his seat and ask, "What were you looking for?"

"I have something to give you, Tony," she answered, shifting on the couch to face him. Her hands were behind her back; obviously hiding the said object from his view.

Tony sensed her nervous excitement and became quickly intrigued. He moved closer to her as he said, "You have my attention."

"I got this for you a while back. But I could not find the right time to give it to you given how, well, crazier than usual things have been lately," she explained, slowing bringing to view a small, rectangular box.

"You got me a new DVD? Sweet, that's very..." he voice dropped as he turned over the cover and noticed the bold letters written across it.

THE LITTLE PRINCE.

Tony stared at it wide eyes and mouth slightly open. Ziva was trying to read his expression and was not having much success as she continued, "I noticed that it was not a part of your huge collection. I thought it would be a nice addition given your history with the movie." She waited with bated breath; with every passing second this was starting to look more and more like a bad idea. "Tony?" she whispered finally, unable to take the pressing silence any longer.

He swallowed hard, moving his hand to place it over hers which was resting on her lap, he squeezed it. Ziva's eyes focussed on their hands, now intertwined, shock written on her face. When she realized that Tony was looking at her, she lifted her eyes to meet his. She was not prepared to see the intensity and sincerity she found in them. In a voice that was barely audible, he said, "Thank you so much, Ziva."

Ziva was momentarily too stunned to respond. Taking a moment to collect herself she replied, "You are always welcome, Tony."

Tony nodded at her a couple of times and regarded the DVD he still held in his hands. There was a slight frown on his face and he looked to be contemplating something.

"What are we doing?" He finally asked.

"I do not understand," came Ziva's confused reply.

"We are spending our Valentine's evening with each other and acting as if this is just another casual evening spent catching up when we both know that there is a lot more to it. We've spent the past year confiding in each other our deepest secrets, things that probably nobody else in the world know about us. We trust each other with our lives and have always had each other's backs. We've tried to be there for each other in our darkest hour and even when it wasn't always smooth sailing we've managed to move past it and find each other once again. We've risked our lives for each other and we both know that we'd gladly do it again if at all the situation warrants it. We know that we care for each other, more than we'd care to accept we do. We are more than partners. More than friends. Neither of us have been seeing anyone for over a year now. For anyone from outside, it only seems natural that we'd be a couple and yet we are not. So I pose the question to you once again, Ms. David," he finally turned his gaze upon her.

"What are we doing?"

**Author's Note: **It looks like this is going to go on for atleast another chapter. This took a long time for me to write (boy, who knew how demanding this can get) but I loved every minute of it. Does it get easier to get the words flowing once you've written a few? I really wanted to get this up before Hereafter aired. Hope you had a nice time reading this installment. I am still learning and I am still new to this, so it would be helpful if you could drop by the review section with your thoughts; whether you liked it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I know that I wasn't able to keep my promise of updating within a couple of days. I wanted to take my time with this one and not rush it like the last chapter (which I wasn't too happy with, let me add!) Thank you for your patience. Also to everyone who has found this story worth following and have reviewed it, to quote Abby - "I'm hugging you all in my mind right now." So, that's enough from me. Let's head straight into the last and final chapter. Hope you've enjoyed the ride. I know I have!

**What Are We Doing?**

Chapter 3

Ziva was stunned. Her hand was still firmly in his grasp as his words flowed. Words which caused her heart to race a mile a minute. Words which had her head buzzing from all the memories they evoked. Rapid cuts through the experiences they had been through. Her mind was suddenly overflowing with these flashes into their past overwhelming her and forcing her to close her eyes to gather her thoughts.

But, for some reason, amidst the swimming haze of memories it was the lighter moments that stood out. All those times when he had put a smile on her face with simple gestures, when he had her laughing with his antics, when he had made her forget her worries and loosen up.

Tony sat observing her closely, looking for anything that might tell him what she was thinking. He had just laid it all out there, all but actually told her about his feelings for her. He didn't know what had brought it on; that immense need to let it all out. They had been doing this little dance of theirs for too long now, and tonight it felt like something had been unlocked inside of him. A part that he had worked so hard on keeping hidden though it had been becoming increasingly hard to do so. He had never even imagined how he would tell her if the time ever came and yet, here he was, having done just that.

Once everything he had to say was out of the way, a small part of him heaved a sigh of relief. The other, larger part of him though, was silently berating himself for his impulsiveness. He was angry; angry that he had lost control, that he had put her on the spot and possibly chosen the worst possible time to do so. She had, only recently, suffered a huge emotional blow. He was supposed to be helping her through her pain and not adding to her problems. But above all, he was afraid that he had pushed her too far and that she would withdraw herself into her shell, put her proverbial walls back up, ones he had painstakingly broken down almost completely, in an attempt to avoid the consequences.

But he knew that he was in too deep now for there to be any escape. The lack of a response from Ziva was starting to unnerve him. She had her eye closed and it felt to him like she was already beginning to cut him off. He couldn't just sit back and let hr do that. He realized that he was still holding her hand. He dropped the DVD box that he had been holding in his other hand beside him and took hers in both of his.

"Ziva."

She heard him calling out to her, delicately. She heard the worry and doubt it was laced with. In that moment, she decided to be completely open with him. He had had the courage to do so and now, it was her turn. She knew they both deserved it.

She looked straight into his greens and said, with an even voice, "I do not know."

"You don't..." He stopped himself, released her hand for the first time since he had taken it. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief, giving out one of his fake laughs. "You know, for a second there, I really thought that we were done playing games." He looked back at her, laughter dying on his lips as he could no longer pretend. "Because at some point," he continued, in all seriousness, "it stops being fun."

"Tony, please," said Ziva urgently. "Let me complete. Hear me off."

"Out," corrected Tony, reflexively. "Hear you 'out', Ziva," he hastened to add at her shocked expression. Ziva relaxed, realizing that he wasn't intending to kick her out of his house in his anger but merely correcting her English.

She took a breath continuing. "I am trying to be honest with you, Tony. I meant what I said." He raised his eyebrows at her. She could clearly see the question in his eyes though he didn't voice it out loud. "Really?"

"When I told you about a year back that I was content with my life, you asked me if I was happy. I could not give you a straight answer."

Tony remembered that talk only too well. It was immediately after she had broken up with Ray. He nodded, silently asking her to proceed.

"But now, though I can not be sure if I am content with the way things are, I _know_ that I am happy, Tony. With things just the way they are, between us," she averted her eyes at the last part, unable to hold his steady gaze any longer for the fear of losing it completely. She looked down at her hands, clasped tightly on her lap, as she went on. "What we have, it is is not just something that I appreciate but is something that I actually depend upon. Especially after my father's death, I would not have been able to keep it together. Part of the reason that I did not go after Bodnar by myself when I made that trip to Tel Aviv was because I did not want a repeat of Somalia. Not the me getting caught part; the you risking your life to come after me part, one that I am well aware that you are entirely capable of doing," she paused to take another breath.

Tony's mind was reeling from everything that he was hearing. She lifted her head up to meet his eyes. Funny, how a simple act like this commanded so much strength on her part right now. His eyes bore into hers. It felt to her almost like he was searching her soul and she let him. Let him know that she meant every word she said.

"I know that when it comes to such things, one has to jump in feet first but I, probably, need the firm ground that I am standing on right now more. The solidity. I am scared, Tony, of the uncertainty that will, invariably, come along when this changes. Because when it becomes something more, it stops being what it is right now. I am not sure I am up for it. I can not stand losing..."

"Ziva," interrupted Tony. "Don't say another word, okay. I'm sorry that I pushed you." He cupped her face with his hand. The gesture too much for Ziva as her voice cracked when she replied, "No, Tony. You do not have anything to apologize for. It is..."

"But I do," he cut in, once more. "I must have known better than to have brought this up when you are already dealing with so much. I meant what I said about being there for you in whatever capacity you needed me, Ziva David. And, I'll stand by it..." He was now cupping her face with both his hands as he saw that her eyes were now shining.

"Forever."

He didn't trust himself to say anything more. He leaned in to place a soft kiss on her head and pulled her to himself for a hug. Ziva, let herself enjoy the physical comfort that Tony had initiated for the first time. They stayed that way for a while, neither of them knew how long.

Out of the blue, Ziva's phone started blaring forcing them to pull apart reluctantly. Tony was most displeased as he complained, " You know, one of these days, your phone gonna 'accidentally' find itself in the way of a bulldozer."

Ziva gave a small laugh, wiping her eyes and reaching for her phone. "David," she answered. "Yeah, sure. Yes, I'll inform DiNozzo and McGee. Thanks, Kev," she finished and shut her phone.

"Apparently, there is going to be a seminar tomorrow on new online security measures in place at the headquarters. It is mandatory that everyone attends," Ziva informed Tony making him groan.

"Atleast, we can catch up on our sleep since we are going to stay up tonight," he smirked opening the DVD cover and picking up the shiny, new disc. He moved to put it into his player and sat back on the couch with remote in hand.

"Are you sure you want to do this now, Tony? Would you not prefer to see it alone for the first time?" asked Ziva softly.

He pressed the PLAY button, threw the remote on the table in front of him and stretched out as the credits started to roll. "Wouldn't be able to, Ziva," he replied, to her face with a small smile. She nodded once slowly and got comfortable as the movie started.

Even though he knew that it couldn't be anything more for now, having Ziva curled up in his couch on Valentine's eve watching a movie with him was something he's gladly settle for.

**Author's Note: **This was probably my favourite chapter though it is a little shorter than the others. I really do think that they have had some kind of a conversation regarding their relationship and this is how it happened in my head. Thank you all so much for reading. I appreciate all the the support. Please do let me know about your thoughts on the story by hitting that review button. This has been a lot of fun and I hope to do this again soon. :)


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